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Tips & Advice
You know how they say “practice makes perfect”? Well, that’s why you’ll need a rehearsal for your wedding, and if you’ve rehearsed, you might as well eat, right? Traditionally, a rehearsal dinner is the responsibility of the groom’s parents, at least as far as paying goes. But you’ll want to have some input, and there may be some issues you didn’t anticipate when you got all these people together.
Who to invite? The rehearsal dinner is usually held for your bridal party, both the bride and groom’s sets of parents, the officiant, musician and/or singer and anyone else who’s been a part of your wedding from start to finish (grandparents, etc.). If you have room for more or your groom’s parents want to add some to the party, try to be considerate of them. If they’re paying, they should have some say in who can come, and even help choose the venue and the menu. But, typically for a destination wedding, most couples invite all wedding guests as well. Since your guests will already be at the destination wedding location, it's a nice gesture to invite them to your rehearsal dinner party as well.
What if the groom’s family wants to use the wedding reception location for the rehearsal dinner? That doesn’t mean you want them to use the same place your wedding reception will be. But if you’re having a destination wedding, your options are practically limitless, based on where you are. Find a local restaurant who will put you all in a separate banquet space, use banquet space at your hotel (only not the room you’re using for your reception, unless it can’t be avoided) or ask the local church if they have a hall you can rent. There are so many places to go, there shouldn’t be any need for the space to be the same as your reception. If it happens that’s the only space available, again, be gracious. You’re in this for the long haul, and when you say “I do,” you’re saying “welcome to the family.” Problems now might have a way of showing up down the line when you least expect it.
What if someone insists on making you an embarrassing “remember when” video? There are going to be some situations you will have to deal with diplomatically. Remember when you went to Cabo with your girlfriends and got drunk or that time you caught your underwear in the escalator when you were 10 because you insisted on riding it sitting down? You don’t want to see that flashing across a big screen at your rehearsal dinner. If someone shows up with one of those videos, accept it in the spirit it was intended and let the gifter know you and your groom will enjoy it in the privacy of your room later (maybe). Smile and be genuinely pleased they made something so personal just for you, and let them know how much you appreciate the time they took to remind you of your special past.
How do you handle a disorderly guest? Most of us know one person who will drink too much and laugh too loud and generally cause a ruckus no matter what the function. A rehearsal dinner is no different – you may have a guest or two who get out of hand after a couple of drinks, and the easiest solution to this problem is to have a designated “bouncer” or two who will cheerfully but firmly guide this person away from the party and back to their room. Make sure you set someone up to do this ahead of time, so you don’t have to worry if Uncle John is ready to take his pants off to dance the chicken dance.
If you do a little planning in advance, you’ll find your rehearsal dinner will go smoothly and be fun for everyone, including you. Oh, and don’t forget to hand out your attendant’s gifts while you’re toasting! |
